After last night's very cathartic post I went to bed and laid down to think some more about my problems. I really think that a big part of my issue with not contacting my son is that I didn't want to disclose all of my families problems to him and maybe discourage him from being the best he could be.
I'm fairly sure he knows all about his mother's drug problems, and that he abandoned him. I also don't believe she is in his life at all. I didn't abandon him, as I said last night I didn't know about him until he was 7.
In one sense not knowing is better than knowing, especially when your a child. I didn't know much about my dad until I was just about his age. Who knows, only the future will tell.
